WHAT ALFREDO LIKES
Alfredo likes a woman who knows what she wants. Alfredo likes a
woman with a good head on her shoulders; with two shoulders, and
a head; with two small heads and one big shoulder, right in the
middle; with Head and Shoulders in her bathroom; with numerous
shoulders, both external and internal; with absolutely no
shoulders whatsoever--only knees--lacking shoulders I must have
knees; with large, broad, burly shoulders that can bear my weight
after I have inhaled more than my share of nitrous oxide. Alfredo
is not unreasonable. Alfredo likes a woman who wears a tennis
skirt to a funeral, just because. Alfredo likes a woman with fire,
she must have fire. And not just any fire, but rather one started
by a wayward, errant, yes we can say it now, slaphappy cow in
Chicago: I believe you know the fire of which Alfredo speaks.
Alfredo likes very few women.