"Okay, when I was a freshman in college there was almost no scene there at all. My girlfriend and I were just starting to discover our own predilections and were eager to join any group of like-minded perverts, no matter how small. It turns out that two tops, Eric and James, more or less dominated the whole scene there. They were complete opposites and bitter enemies. James was a well- built blonde pre-med. Eric was tall and wiry with jet-black hair. He studied pure math and philosophy."
"Cool," said Karen, stretching her sweatshirt down.
"James was very 'old-school', by-the-book, you know the type. Essentially, he was an unimaginative sadist, and he had a gazillion slaves who worshiped him."
"Wait," said Howard, "you said the scene was small there."
"Well, a gazillion sounds more impressive than four. And, relative to the size of the scene there, it was about a bazilion."
"Bazilion?" said Maria, "isn't he the lead singer for the Hooters?"
"No no no," said Karen, "you're thinking of someone who makes coffee."
"Juan Valdez?"
"Bite me."
"As I was saying, he had a buttload of slaves. But so did Eric, whose topping style was light years away from James's."
"Isn't it James'?"
"It's just an s."
"Go on."
"Eric was extremely flamboyant, especially at play parties. James said he was 'dangerous' and 'played to the crowd', all of which was true, pretty much. But he was really creative and I thought he was the--."
"Cat's pajamas?"
"Bee's knees?"
"Dangling participle on the spice rack of your joss?"
"Huh?" we all chorused.
"Creative?" said Maria.
"I remember he had these two sets of Japanese clover sewing nipple clamps or whatever the hell you want to call them."
"The evil things," said Karen.
"All right, the evil things. He connected one evil thing to another with about a twelve foot length of chain. Four clamps altogether, two chains. Then, he would have two girls stand facing each other, very close, and attach the clamps to their nipples. Then he would move away and tell them to start walking backwards. He said 'Whoever stops first is free to go.'"
"Ooh."
"And he meant it. These girls usually ended up defecting to James's camp. It was a real head-trip, though, watching these girls, who were usually good friends, start that long, slow walk backwards. The slack would eventually run out from the chains. It was great."
"Sounds hot."
"It was, but that was nothing compared to the Ultimate Cool Thing."
"The Ultimate Cool Thing?"
"Yeah. The caps are important, too. You'll see why."
"Hold on," said Karen, "I have to pee."
"Why does she always announce it?" said Maria. "Like we can't hear her with the door open."
"I heard that." Flush.
"So the ultimate--"
"Caps."
"Ooh. Excuse me. The Ultimate Cool Thing. What was it?"
"Okay, it was Spring semester. Both Eric and James were about to graduate and we had all come back from Spring Break early because a big play party had been organized. Somehow, everyone had gotten their shit together and they'd rented a suite at the Sheraton downtown."
"Oooooh, the Sheraton."
"Heh."
"Okay, some background. James had been living with this Barbara girl for two years and I think they were engaged. Eric was always seen with Tiffany, who was half-Black, half-Korean, very exotic-looking. Barbara was Kim Basinger."
"Only without the town."
"Did she file for chapter 11?"
"13."
"Hell, I'd rather be bankrupt than have my name in the Boxing Helena credits."
"God, that sucked."
"Back to the Sheraton, Rich."
"Okay, so James broke the ice by topping some new girl--at least someone I'd never seen before. They'd set up an A-frame and he cuffed her to it and flogged the fuck out of her. Eric shook his head the whole time. A few other scenes went on, but we could all see Eric bad-mouthing James to whoever would listen. Soon, James pulled Eric into an adjoining room and they both talked for a while. Everyone was dead silent trying to hear what was going on."
Howard got up to get a bag of Chips Ahoy.
"So finally they came back and pulled Barbara and Tiffany aside and whispered something among themselves. Finally, we saw what had been decided. James was going to top Tiffany and Eric was going to top Barbara."
"Safewords?"
"Everyone knew neither girl would safeword. They flipped a coin and James went first. Like we thought he would, he cuffed Tiffany to the frame, spread her legs with a spreader bar, and went through every flogger he had. Tiffany was dark-skinned and didn't mark easily but I bet she still has scars. Eric yawned. Tiffany never made a sound. Finally she just passed out and they took her down, covered her up, and some friends nursed her back to consciousness. It was truly frightening."
"Ouch."
"Yeah."
"So of course, everyone is dying to see what Eric would do. Barbara was visibly trembling. The room was so tense it was just, well, you can imagine."
"So what'd he do?"
"He said, 'Barbara, come here. She did. 'Take off your clothes.' She did. 'Lie down.' She did. Then, he knelt down and spread her legs and very gently, lovingly, made love to her cunt with his mouth."
"Yum."
"That's the best way to describe it. For hours, it seemed, he brought her to the edge and backed off. Gotta hand it to Barbara, she tried, she really did. But before long her fingers were in his hair and her back was arching. I swear that half the room were having sympathetic orgasms. James finally walked out. They broke off the engagement and he disappeared from the scene. I think he's a dentist now."