CRINGE DRIPPINGS

The steamy walls dripped wet ooze. The patient, master of his own pus, lay spread out on the table. The doctor, hovering over the patient like a cloud of acid on Venus, made the first long incision, and the bodsteam hit him in the face like a hot SBD. Not, he noted, an unpleasant sensation. The doctor did his best to save the patient, thinking, "Spleen, spleen, I'd like to squish this friggin' spleen. I could do it too, hee hee hee, so squishy." "Oh Doctor", said buxom Nurse Tommyknocker, unable to take her eyes from the doctor's manhood, "now there's a piece that's primed for a-juttin' and a-jauntin'.

"Ah Nurse, you be a-watchin' what comes out of that pretty little mouth o'yours or you'll be a-tastin' the sweetin' pleasures o'me cod-whip by the first a-gleamin' o'the moon, me fecklin' milassie."

And still the walls dripped ooze.

The astute reader will note the use here of a rare dialect-- Punkin' me-Gaelic. The effect is much greater than by gleaning any of the Cattish Dig-crees or the Norse Bel-Climes.