DON'T KNOW MUCH
Terence Trent d'Arby (Terence Trent of roast beef sandwich) was
on Letterman (an A&E rerun) and he was singing that Sam Cooke song,
'Wonderful World'. But I had just downed about 16 ounces of
Robitussin and I swear this is what he sang:
"Don't know much about history,
Don't know much biology,
Don't know no science book,
Don't know much about the French I took
"But I do know that I love you,
And I know that if you love me too,
What a wonderful, wonderful world this could be--"
"Don't know much about deconstruction, except of course
Derrida's famous phrase, "Il n'y a pas dehors du texte,"
which means "There is nothing outside of the text," but, and
this is important--he is not simply restating the project of
the New Critics, reducing, let's say, a poem, to the words of
the poem, and *only* that, but rather, I take it to mean that
Derrida is textualizing *everything*, history, the author's
biography, all of it, and opening the text up to the free play
of meaning.
But I do know--(Chorus)
"Don't know much about Soren Kierkegaard, the founder of
religious epistemology, having never even finished his
_Concluding Unscientific Postscript_.
Don't know much about transformational epistemology.
Don't know the difference between a pithy maxim and an
apothegm."
"Don't know much about nothing at all...(Chorus)
"Don't know much about the Protestant Reformation and
certainly nothing about Martin Luther's role in it, aside
from the 95 theses he tacked to the wall of that church in
Wittenburg. But that's all.
And I don't know how to make a souffle, at least not what to
do after you separate your eggs, make your cream sauce, melt
your cheese in the sauce, beat the whites until stiff but not,
not dry, fold them in, careful, careful, move the bowl as you
do this or your stirring and not folding, and then bake the
whole thing for about half an hour. That's it. You can eat it
now, go ahead, it's good.
"And I don't know much about superstring theory, n-dimensional
algebras, or non-Euclidian geometries."
(Chorus)
And I *swear* he ended by saying, "Fine. So call me stupid."