A DELICATE HINT OF TV HELL

"Hi, Bob Vila here. Did you know that if you can peel a hard- boiled egg you can perform tricky testicular cancer surgery. If you can cut a small notch in a length of wire, drill two small holes in the cranium, and work it back and forth like dental floss, you can perform brain surgery the way they did in the 'operating theater' of the mid-1700's. And if you can ladle soup you can remove so-called deep tumors from previously inaccessible structures deep within the brain. And if you can peel the silvery part from a Wrigley's gum wrapper and keep it in one piece, that means you're a virgin. It's true. And did you know--"

"All right, Bob, come along with us. How many times have we told you not to open a can of paint thinner in an unventilated room? You should know better than that, Bob, you're a professional for chrissakes."

"If you can get a hard-to-reach boogie out of your nose with just your forefinger, you could be a proc--"

"Bob, Bob, Bob--"