We sit, order.
Hey How, Rich, says Karen. Who *is* that guy?
Over in the back, sitting alone, facing diagonally away from us is a guy drinking coffee, leafing through a copy of Billboard.
He hears us and glances over. Karen digs her nails into my knee and my brother's.
Shit, says Maria. It's John Malkovich.
A high-pitched squeak from the back of Karen's throat.
Dangerous Liaisons, she says. I'd do him if he asked me.
It's not, says Howard.
Well it *is* someone famous.
We agree.
But *who*?
I know, says Howard. Look at the hair. It's Art Garfunkel.
Is not.
Is.
Follow me, says Karen.
So we do.
Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but could I have your autograph?
Why sure. He beams. Is very friendly.
Hold on, says Howard. You don't know what he's--
She elbows him.
You're John Malkovich. I thought you were great in Dangerous--
He shakes his head and laughs.
Art Garfunkel?
Laughs again, harder.
Three strikes, Karen.
Do I get a hint?
Sit down, he says. Shield me from the throngs of adoring fans.
We sit.
Well, do I get that hint?
He puts down his coffee and sings softly, in a voice that is still high and beautiful and pure.
[I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
Seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
Seen lonely times when I could not--]
Maria joins, harmonizing.
[--find a friend,
But I always thought that I'd see you again.]
Karen is shocked, breathless.He beams again and takes a sip of coffee.
Karen says, rather loudly, James Ingram!
The coffee comes out his nose and he laughs so hard we are certain he'll hurt himself.
Gotcha, says Karen.