Nietzsche For Complete and Total Idiots

from the same people who brought you Zen For Stupid People , a collection of proverbs, aphroisms, and thoughts for those who say "God bless you" whenever you say "Nietzsche."

• If you stare into the void long enough, you'll get a real bad headache.

• If you would give birth to a dancing star, better go for that caesarean section.

• God is dead. Get over it.

• I teach you the superman. Kryptonite you'll have to work out for yourself.

• Woman was God's second blunder. So nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah.

• What I understand by 'philosopher': a terrible explosive in the presence of which everything is in danger. Or alternatively, a small hairless duck.

• Morality is the herd-instinct in the individual. Moooo!

• The Christian resolution to find the world ugly and bad has made the world ugly and bad. Where the movie "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" came from, I don't know.

• The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously! This is also the way to the greatest Nielson ratings.

• The thought of suicide is a great source of comfort, but not as great as new Garlic Flavored Mentos! Mentos: It's the Chewy Mint!

• So long as the priest, that professional negator, slanderer and poisoner of life, is regarded as a superior type of human being, there cannot be any answer to the question: what is with those funny looking robes?

• Neither as an ethical code nor as a religion has Christianity any point of contact with things as they actually are. On the other hand, it's tres chic as a fashion statement.

• The Christian religion grew upon a soil of such utter falsification, where the deepest instincts of the ruling factions were opposed to nature and natural values to such an extent, that Christianity became a death struggle against reality which was only surpassed by the 1992 Mets.

• What is good? All that elevates the feeling of power, the will to power, my ability to get laid.

• What is bad? All that proceeds from weakness. For example, those "Hey, Vern!" movies.

• What is happiness? The feeling that power *increases*--that resistance is being overcome. Thus, Pepto Bismo is happiness.

• Life is an instinct of growth, for survival, for the accumulation of forces, for power. Also, an award winning game from Milton Bradley.

• Beyond Good and Evil or beyond door number 2? Let's make a deal!

• What fails to kill me leaves me alive. I mean, duh.