10. Ever since he gained weight over the holiday season, he hasn't been able to get back into Chomsky Normal Form.
9. Whenever he walks into a bar in Boston, everyone shouts out "Noam!"
8. His doctor accidently removed his East Timor.
7. People at cocktail parties who think linguistics is the study of pasta.
6. For every letter he writes to his senator protesting U.S. support of the Indonesian dictatorship, his senator writes back, "In Your Nesia!"
5. Because of journalistic complicity with the power elite, the Boston Globe won't run his personal ads.
4. Even though infants posses inate grammatical structures of mammoth complexity, they still can't pronounce his last name correctly.
3. No nobel prize in linguistics means his MIT parking space sucks.
2. Undergraduates who still think "Generative Grammer? I don't even know her!" is funny.
1. Archrival E.O. Wilson's bumpersticker: "Chom This."
-Thomas C MA 02144