We were in the kitchen. Mom was drying dishes, Dad was sitting at the table cutting out coupons.
"Mom, Dad, ah, could you sit down for a sec? I've got something important to tell you."
Mom puts down the dish towel and sits. Dad looks a little bit concerned and says, "Sure, Thomas, what's on your mind?"
"Well, I'm not sure how to put this. I've found someone really wonderful, who I really love, who I want to settle down and spend the rest of my life with."
They beam. Dad: "That's fantastic, son. What's his name?"
Why did I just know that it would go like this? "HER name is Amy. Amy Stridel. Chemistry grad student at MIT. She has long blond hair and ..."
By this time, Dad's face was bright red and Mom was in tears. "Thomas, how .. how could you?"
"It's very easy, Mom. Boy meets Girl, Boy and Girl fall in love. It's only been going on this way for millions of years."
Dad: "Don't take that attitude with me, young man. I'm ashamed of you. Didn't we teach you any values?"
"Look, Dad, you married a girl, didn't you? I don't see what's so wrong with it."
Mom, weeping: "You're so .. so .. homophobic.."
"I am not homophobic, mother. I have many, many gay and lesbian friends. It's just that the particular person I happen to be in love with is female."
Mom: "Well, I just don't know. Is she Jewish?"
"No, Mom, she's not Jewish. And neither are we. We're all Catholic, ok? Just deal with it."
"Oh no, my son is going to marry a shiksa ..."
-Thomas C and so it goes