Sheung narrowed his eyes and gave me a nasty, don't even pretend you're that clueless, look. "I *cleaned* it."
"Ah." I staggered around the shining counters, the grunk free sink, the sorted and stacked spotless dishes. "Wow."
Then I saw the oven. Our oven was clean. Our oven was cleaner than it was in the Sears showroom, cleaner than its catalog picture. To get an oven this clean, you would need Mickey Mouse commanding fifty thousand miniature brooms working for a week, all the while protected by an anti-dirt SDI satellite system.
"Belzelbub's hairpits!" I exclaimed. "How did you get the oven that clean?"
"Oven of Ultimate Cleanliness. Third level cleric spell."
"Well, I'll be. I always thought that was one of those useless spells that no one ever learned. You know, like Cure Inconsequential Wound or Sleep Plant. I had no idea it was this powerful."
"For nine spell points, it had better be."
I leaned against a counter, still stunned by it all. If it wasn't for the Penn & Teller refrigerator magnets, I would of sworn it was someone else's kitchen. It all got me to thinking. "Back when I was a kid -- back when child prodigies were inspiring rather than just plain damn annoying -- girls would roleplay with Barbies and dollhouses and boys would roleplay with dice and d&d manuals. Little did I realize that it would all turn out in the end to be the same thing."
"Whatever." Sheung was never one for philosophical musings.
By this time, my eyes had adjusted to the glare. It was then that I noticed the pantry. Time to dance.
"Um, Sheung, not to denigrate your truly magnificent accomplishment here in any way, shape, or form, but wouldn't you feel like your personal jihad against the evil Satan of dirt would be more complete if you tackled, once and for all, its final manifestation, i.e., the pantry?"
I wistfully contemplated the ceiling while making this plea, then resigned myself to lowering my head and making eye contact. He was coming at me with a mop and an armful of scrolls.
"Material components are in the spice rack. And remember, no illusionist spells this time."