I was raised Catholic. How Catholic, you ask? Let me put it this way: I have an aunt who is a nun.
Not only is she a nun, she is also my godmother. She is also the principle of an elementary school in Oakland, CA. To be brief, she is one of the most kind and caring human beings I have ever known and respected on this planet.
I say all of this so that you will have some idea of the immense mind-blowing shock I went through when I received from her an email containing five original
******SPAM haiku********* Pink tender morsel, Glistening with salty gel. What the hell is it? ----------- Ears, snouts and innards, A homogeneous mass. Pass another slice. ----------- Cube of cold pinkness Yellow specks of porcine fat. Give me a spork please. ------------ Old man seeks doctor. "I eat SPAM daily", he says. Angioplasty. ----------- Highly unnatural, The tortured shape of this "food". A small pink coffin.-Thomas C god save us all